Tuesday, 11 August 2026

How to Respond to the ‘Two Consenting Adults’ Argument Regarding Homosexual Practice

I am sure that, like me, you will have heard people try to justify homosexual practice by using the two-consenting-adults argument, i.e., by saying that if two consenting adults are involved, then what's the harm.

In the thinking of people who use this argument, if someone is not causing distress to another human being, it makes no sense to say that they are doing anything wrong.

A need to respond to this argument

In sharp contrast to secular thinking on sexual morals, the Bible teaches that sex is only appropriate in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. And it strongly condemns homosexual acts.

However, for people who don’t accept the Bible’s authority, quoting chapter and verse on homosexuality isn’t going to cut any ice.

Of course, if we can persuade people of the truth of the Bible, that is a very worthwhile thing to do. But nevertheless, it would be helpful if we can use some other arguments too.

In what follows, I will give some ideas for how to respond to people who try to justify homosexual practice by using the two-consenting-adults argument. Some of my arguments will assume that God exists, so these particular arguments wouldn’t necessarily have much impact on those who deny His existence. Nevertheless, I think that even these arguments should sometimes help to get through to some people.

Living within the pattern that God designed

One thing we can say to people who use the two-consenting-adults argument is that human beings need to live the way that God made us to live. It is true that He has given us a lot of freedom, but there are limits to this. We need to live within the pattern that He designed.

If we think about homosexuality, the big thing that should strike us immediately about it is that this isn’t what God made. The human body is obviously designed to fit together heterosexually with another body. This is clearly what God created.

I think people know instinctively that there is something unnatural about homosexuality. Of course, many will deny this, and if people are unwilling to listen to the truth, there is only so much we can do to persuade them. But speaking about the design of human beings will sometimes help to get through to people on this issue.

What human beings want is not the key thing

The second point to make about the two-consenting-adults argument is that it puts human beings on a pedestal in a way that doesn’t match reality.

This argument assumes, either consciously or unconsciously, that human beings are in the place of ultimate authority. In other words, it assumes that what people want, and not what God wants, is the key thing.

It is impossible to overstate how wrong this kind of thinking is. The first thing that anyone should ask about any activity is whether God is OK with it. That is infinitely more important than whether a human being is OK with it.

Only if we are sure that God is fine with something, should we then go on to think about human consent.

This is another point that may have some success in getting through to people on the issue of homosexual practice.

Asking what they think about incest

Another approach that I think would be very worthwhile, when responding to people who use the two-consenting-adults argument, is to refer to incest.

If someone says that homosexual practice is fine if two consenting adults are involved, we can ask them if they believe the same about incest, particularly incest involving a parent and an adult child.

If they are horrified, or at least uncomfortable, with incest of this kind, as I think a large majority of people would be, then we can point out that their discomfort shows that the two-consenting-adults argument is hopelessly simplistic. The rightness or wrongness of sexual relationships is a much deeper issue than people who use this argument think it is.

However, it is true that a few might say that they have no objection to incest involving a parent and an adult child. If they do, we can press further and ask them if they would be fine with this kind of incest in their own family. If the person we are talking to is a parent or grandparent themself, it may even be appropriate to specifically refer to their child or grandchild when asking the question.

If the person gets angry and offended by this question, we can say that we agree that these are offensive thoughts and that that is precisely the point. The fact that they are repulsed by these thoughts shows that the two-consenting-adults argument is far too simplistic. Sometimes, two consenting adults in a sexual relationship is a horrifying prospect.

Then we can say that if this is the case with incest, potentially the same could be true of homosexual relationships too.

I think the vast majority of people would be appalled, or at least uncomfortable, about the prospect of incest in their own family between a parent and a child, so this argument should carry some weight. If they can see that incest is a disgusting thing, even when two consenting adults are involved, they might possibly come to see that homosexual practice is just as disgusting, even when two consenting adults are involved.

It is sad to say, however, that if the moral depravity of Western culture continues to increase, we may reach a time not that many years from now when the average man or woman on the street really won’t have a problem with incest between a parent and child. And it may be that those of us who object to this will be attacked as bigots.

Nevertheless, at the present time this appeal to incest is something that I think should make people stop and think.

Speaking in love

Of course, as Christians, when we criticise sinful behaviour, we must always be careful to remember that we ourselves are sinners saved by grace.

We must never look down on unrepentant sinners from some imagined position of superiority. Instead, we need to look horizontally across to people, speaking in love, remembering that we have committed many sins ourselves and that God has chosen to forgive us.

So if we find ourselves in the position of using the sorts of arguments that I have outlined in this article, let us make sure that our hearts are in the right place as we do so.

 

See also:

Answering the Accusations of the LGBTQ Movement

What Attitude Should Christians Have to Homosexuality?

How Serious a Sin Is Sex outside Marriage?

Most People in Western Countries Completely Misunderstand What Human Beings Are

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