I am sure that, like me, you will have heard people try to justify homosexual practice by using the two-consenting-adults argument, i.e., by saying that if two consenting adults are involved, then what's the harm.
In the thinking of people who use this argument, if someone is not causing distress to another human being, it makes no sense to say that they are doing anything wrong.
A need to
respond to this argument
In sharp contrast to
secular thinking on sexual morals, the Bible teaches that sex is only
appropriate in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. And it
strongly condemns homosexual acts.
However, for people
who don’t accept the Bible’s authority, quoting chapter and verse on
homosexuality isn’t going to cut any ice.
Of course, if we can
persuade people of the truth of the Bible, that is a very worthwhile thing to
do. But nevertheless, it would be helpful if we can use some other arguments
too.
In what follows, I
will give some ideas for how to respond to people who try to justify homosexual
practice by using the two-consenting-adults argument. Some of my arguments will
assume that God exists, so these particular arguments wouldn’t necessarily have
much impact on those who deny His existence. Nevertheless, I think that even
these arguments should sometimes help to get through to some people.
Living within
the pattern that God designed
One thing we can say
to people who use the two-consenting-adults argument is that human beings need
to live the way that God made us to live. It is true that He has given us a lot
of freedom, but there are limits to this. We need to live within the pattern
that He designed.
If we think about
homosexuality, the big thing that should strike us immediately about it is that
this isn’t what God made. The human body is obviously designed to fit together
heterosexually with another body. This is clearly what God created.
I think people know
instinctively that there is something unnatural about homosexuality. Of course,
many will deny this, and if people are unwilling to listen to the truth, there
is only so much we can do to persuade them. But speaking about the design of
human beings will sometimes help to get through to people on this issue.
What human
beings want is not the key thing
The second point to
make about the two-consenting-adults argument is that it puts human beings on a
pedestal in a way that doesn’t match reality.
This argument
assumes, either consciously or unconsciously, that human beings are in the
place of ultimate authority. In other words, it assumes that what people want,
and not what God wants, is the key thing.
It is impossible to
overstate how wrong this kind of thinking is. The first thing that anyone
should ask about any activity is whether God is OK with it. That is infinitely
more important than whether a human being is OK with it.
Only if we are sure
that God is fine with something, should we then go on to think about human
consent.
This is another point
that may have some success in getting through to people on the issue of
homosexual practice.
Asking what they
think about incest
Another approach that
I think would be very worthwhile, when responding to people who use the
two-consenting-adults argument, is to refer to incest.
If someone says that
homosexual practice is fine if two consenting adults are involved, we can ask
them if they believe the same about incest, particularly incest involving a
parent and an adult child.
If they are
horrified, or at least uncomfortable, with incest of this kind, as I think a
large majority of people would be, then we can point out that their discomfort
shows that the two-consenting-adults argument is hopelessly simplistic. The
rightness or wrongness of sexual relationships is a much deeper issue than
people who use this argument think it is.
However, it is true
that a few might say that they have no objection to incest involving a parent
and an adult child. If they do, we can press further and ask them if they would
be fine with this kind of incest in their own family. If the person we are
talking to is a parent or grandparent themself, it may even be appropriate to
specifically refer to their child or grandchild when asking the question.
If the person gets angry
and offended by this question, we can say that we agree that these are
offensive thoughts and that that is precisely the point. The fact that they are
repulsed by these thoughts shows that the two-consenting-adults argument is far
too simplistic. Sometimes, two consenting adults in a sexual relationship is a
horrifying prospect.
Then we can say that
if this is the case with incest, potentially the same could be true of
homosexual relationships too.
I think the vast
majority of people would be appalled, or at least uncomfortable, about the
prospect of incest in their own family between a parent and a child, so this
argument should carry some weight. If they can see that incest is a disgusting
thing, even when two consenting adults are involved, they might possibly come
to see that homosexual practice is just as disgusting, even when two consenting
adults are involved.
It is sad to say,
however, that if the moral depravity of Western culture continues to increase,
we may reach a time not that many years from now when the average man or woman
on the street really won’t have a problem with incest between a parent and child.
And it may be that those of us who object to this will be attacked as bigots.
Nevertheless, at the present
time this appeal to incest is something that I think should make people stop
and think.
Speaking in love
Of course, as
Christians, when we criticise sinful behaviour, we must always be careful to
remember that we ourselves are sinners saved by grace.
We must never look
down on unrepentant sinners from some imagined position of superiority.
Instead, we need to look horizontally across to people, speaking in love, remembering
that we have committed many sins ourselves and that God has chosen to forgive
us.
So if we find
ourselves in the position of using the sorts of arguments that I have outlined
in this article, let us make sure that our hearts are in the right place as we
do so.
See also:
Answering the Accusations of the LGBTQ Movement
What Attitude Should Christians Have to Homosexuality?
How Serious a Sin Is Sex outside Marriage?
Most People in Western Countries Completely
Misunderstand What Human Beings Are
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