Everyone will surely have witnessed the problems that gossip can cause.
Relationships can be damaged, sometimes badly, by unkind words spoken about
people behind their backs. And sadly, there is plenty of this
that goes on among Christians too.
Rumours that are untrue
Worst of all is when the rumours that are spread are not even true.
Satan and his demonic followers are the masters of deception, and at times we
have all doubtless fallen into the trap of believing that someone has acted
badly, only to find out later that they were innocent all along. Some of us
will also probably be able to think of times when we mistakenly passed on false
information about people.
Fuelling the gossip
engine
Even if there is no doubt that a bad report about someone is true,
great harm can still be caused by those who hear about it and fuel the gossip
engine by passing on what they hear. If Christians learn that a person has
acted badly, far too often they just tell others without considering whether
that is the right thing to do.
Times when we need to
speak negatively
It is true that there are times when we do need to speak
negatively about people when they are not present. For example, there are
occasions when a Christian acts badly in some way, and others in their church really
do need to know. Or maybe a person might have hurt us by something they have
said, and we feel that it would be helpful to tell someone.
But unless there is a good a reason for passing on the negative
information, then we shouldn’t.
Close relationships
are no excuse
Even if we have a close relationship to someone, that doesn’t make
it right to pass on gossip to them. Just because someone is meeting a close
friend doesn’t mean it is acceptable to tell them the bad report about a person
that they have heard. Or just because someone is married doesn’t make it right
for them to pass on gossip to their husband or wife.
A little rule
In my own life, so as to try to avoid saying anything
inappropriate about anyone, I have set myself a little rule. This is never to
say anything negative about someone who is not present unless I can think of at
least one specific reason why I believe God would want me to. If I can’t come
up with a reason, then I won’t say anything. At least, this is my intention,
even if perhaps I don’t succeed in following this rule all the time.
The Christian life, of course, is not about keeping lots of rules,
but is about living in the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless, living in the Spirit does
not conflict with occasionally making ourselves a rule or two to try to live by,
and this is one that I find helpful.
Acting in love
In our interactions with people, the top priority is always to
love everyone. And this includes those who have acted badly and those who are
the subject of gossip, whether that gossip is based on something true or
untrue. Love will not speak negatively about a person unless there is a good
reason for doing so.
Importantly too, there is obviously a sense in which people who
are not there when others are talking about them are vulnerable. They can’t
defend themselves. And Jesus certainly wants us to be careful to treat
vulnerable people well.
Let us all strive, then, to avoid spreading rumours and gossip
about people. So much damage to relationships could be avoided if every
Christian made the effort to do this.
See also:
