In each part of the world, there are positive and negative aspects to the mainstream culture. Every culture is surely more pleasing to God in some ways than many other cultures, and also more displeasing to Him in some ways than many other cultures.
This is certainly true of mainstream Western culture. In some ways this culture is better than many others, and in some ways it is worse than many others.
As far as attitudes to the roles of men and women are concerned, there is some of each of these things in mainstream Western culture. In some ways this culture has a good attitude to male and female roles, and in other ways it has a poor attitude.
Equality of men and women in Western culture
Firstly, I think that modern Western culture is among the best in the world in its insistence that men and women are equal.
Mainstream Westerners rightly believe that men and women are equal in value and dignity. And they are also very critical of men who take advantage of women in any way. It is considered unacceptable and taboo to do this.
That is not to say that Western society is perfect in its attitude to this. Far from it. But it is nevertheless a lot better than many parts of the world.
In more than a few countries women are typically viewed by men as somewhat inferior human beings, and men often consider it acceptable to take advantage of women. They use their authority over women for their own benefit.
Mainstream Western culture rightly has no sympathy for this sort of thinking. And so it is surely more pleasing to God on the issue of equality than the cultures in many parts of the world.
Living out equality of men and women in Western culture
Although mainstream Western culture is strong on the equality of men and women, it goes seriously wrong in the way it attempts to live out this equality.
Huge numbers of modern Westerners seem to have the idea that equality between men and women means sameness. They seem to be forever trying to make men and women the same in everything.
If, for example, there are more men than women who do some job or other, many people will automatically assume that something is wrong. They don’t stop to ask if there might be a good reason why fewer women do that job. Instead, they will immediately assume that there should be the same number of men and women doing the job.
It is not a huge exaggeration to say that many in the feminist movement today are not just trying to get rid of inequality, but they are trying to get rid of as many distinctions between men and women as they can.
It makes no sense to think that equality means sameness
Despite the ideas of many in Western countries today, it makes no sense to think that equality means sameness. Men and women have been created by God to be different in some ways, and each sex has various strengths and weaknesses. To try to force a uniformity on human beings by eradicating differences between men and women is to work against God’s will for mankind.
Instead, these differences should be celebrated. Where women tend to be better at something than men, we shouldn’t try to engineer society so that the same number of men do that thing. And where men tend to be better at something than women, again, we shouldn’t try to force the culture to fit with some politically correct idea.
Men and women are equally valuable in God’s sight. But to think that this means that they should be the same wherever possible makes no sense at all. It is the result of confused thinking.
Breastfeeding babies
In some ways, the attitudes of mainstream Westerners on this issue are really quite disturbing.
Take looking after babies as an example. Most women become mothers, and we should all want babies to be treated as well as possible.
As God has designed things, babies are supposed to drink milk from their mothers’ breasts. Scientific studies have shown that for a baby breast milk is the most healthy, and that feeding from the mother helps to create a bond between mother and baby.
Even without any science, however, it should be obvious that these things are true. Babies feeding from their mothers’ breasts is clearly part of God’s created order.
It is true that exceptional situations arise when there is a good reason for a woman not to breastfeed. Some women are physically unable to do this, and sometimes a woman has to get a job away from her baby so that she can earn money to live on.
Nevertheless, for a woman not to breastfeed her baby should be a last resort. Any parent should want their baby to get off to the best start in life, and part of this should be for the baby to breastfeed from the mother if possible.
In Western culture, however, this important aspect of a baby’s life is often neglected so that politically correct ideas about the roles of women can be pursued. There are many women who abandon their babies for large parts of the day so that they can further their careers. And instead of sharply criticising women who do this and the men who support it, Western society tends to actually encourage this practice. To put it bluntly, aiming for sameness between men and women in Western countries is often at the price of treating babies badly.
But it gets even worse. Western media are full of commentators who constantly complain that there are not enough women in high level jobs. However, part of the reason why fewer women than men do these jobs is because some women have chosen to do something more important. They have decided to prioritise breastfeeding their babies instead of selfishly pursuing a career at the expense of their children. The arrogance and hypocrisy of many in modern Western culture is truly of a very high order.
Husbands have authority over wives
Another way in which the attitudes of mainstream Western culture contradict the Christian faith is in the relationships of husbands and wives.
According to the Bible, husbands have a degree of authority over their wives.
In Ephesians 5:22-24, for example, the apostle Paul writes:
‘Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.’ (ESV)
Mainstream Western culture rejects the idea that husbands have authority over their wives. But in doing so they are rejecting what God has designed.
Misunderstanding the authority of husbands over wives
I think one reason why many are so opposed to husbands having authority over their wives is because they misunderstand the nature of this authority. They look at examples of authority in the world at large, and they wrongly assume that Christians believe that the authority of husbands is supposed to be similar to these examples.
There are various typical characteristics of authority that we see in the world around us.
To begin with, authority figures are usually more important than those under their authority. For example, if the CEO of a company spends a week off sick, that might cause real problems for the other workers. This person is such a key decision-maker that doing without them for a whole week is likely to make life difficult for the others. However, if someone much lower down the authority structure in that company is off sick for a week, the problems caused will probably be far fewer.
Second, authority figures are usually more privileged than those under their authority. For instance, in the workplace a person in authority will almost certainly receive a higher salary than someone under their authority.
Third, authority figures often use those under their authority to serve themselves. For example, bosses will frequently tell their subordinates to do the unpleasant tasks, while avoiding these tasks themselves.
In the world at large, then, we are surrounded by people who have this sort of authority. So, when Christians talk about husbands being in authority over wives, people often simply assume that this is the kind of authority we have in mind. Many think we mean that husbands are more important and more privileged than wives, and that it is acceptable for husbands to use their wives for their own advantage. And then they get very offended.
The true nature of the authority of husbands
If the above picture did correctly represent the true nature of how husbands should have authority over their wives, it would be perfectly reasonable for people to be appalled by it. In reality, however, a proper understanding of husbands’ authority is vastly different from the above picture.
Crucially, the true nature of authority in marriage in no way means that the husband is more important or more privileged than the wife.
There is, in fact, a good parallel to this sort of authority in the Trinity itself. According to the Bible, God the Son is eternally under the authority of God the Father. However, both Father and Son are equal in importance and privilege. And exactly the same is true of the marriage relationship of husband and wife.
This concept of authority without extra importance or privilege is something that modern Westerners find hard to grasp. It goes so against the grain of our culture. Yet this is the true nature of the authority of husbands over their wives.
What is more, whereas worldly authority usually involves taking advantage of the person under authority, the proper authority of the husband does exactly the opposite. The Bible teaches that husbands should not only avoid using their authority in marriage for their own benefit, but that they should actually use this authority to serve their wives!
In Ephesians 5:25 Paul tells his readers:
‘Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .’ (ESV)
Note carefully what Paul says here. He tells husbands to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.
How did Christ do this? He volunteered to be crucified! In other words, Paul is saying that husbands should be enormously self-sacrificial in the way they love and serve their wives. Using authority in this manner is totally different from the standard pattern of authority that we see in the world at large. It turns the world’s values on their head.
When we recognise the true nature of the authority of husbands over their wives, it should be clear that there is nothing abusive about this authority. Nor is there anything unequal. It is just that the husband and the wife have different roles in the marriage.
Husbands abusing their authority
Of course, it is true that many husbands around the world abuse the authority they have over their wives. They take advantage of their wives in various ways.
This, however, is something that Christians should be totally against. Abusing authority to manipulate anyone is a serious matter indeed.
Nevertheless, if a husband doesn’t abuse his authority, it is good that he has it. And when a husband uses his authority to serve his wife, it works out very well for her. Christians should therefore oppose the way that mainstream Western culture tries to get rid of differences in the roles of husbands and wives.
General Christian attitudes to male and female
It is, of course, a fact that in many ways men and women really are the same. Physically we have more in common than not, and in spiritual, mental and emotional qualities too we seem to have more similarities than differences.
It is also true that cultural factors are often morally neutral, and we should show flexibility in our approach to masculinity and femininity in various cultures.
For example, in modern Western culture blue is a colour that has a tradition of being attached to boys, and pink has a tradition of being attached to girls. In this culture, it makes sense for Christians to fit in with this way of doing things.
However, in a culture that does things differently it would be right to have a different custom. If there were a culture somewhere in the world that connected girls with blue and boys with pink, Christians should follow suit.
There is nothing in God’s created order itself that attaches blue to boys and pink to girls. This is just a cultural thing. And in many morally neutral issues like this, we should show some flexibility.
Yet in areas where God has created a difference between male and female, Christians should refuse to give in to pressure to try to get rid of these differences. Instead, we should be unembarrassed about opposing this distortion of God’s created order.
And when modern Westerners dress up issues of sameness under the appearance of equality, we mustn’t be fooled. We need to understand clearly that these are separate things.
Christians should oppose real inequality between men and women
Finally, although Christians should resist the attempts of Western culture to make men and women the same, we should be as outspoken as anyone against real inequality, wherever it exists in the world.
I have already mentioned the example of husbands abusing their authority to take advantage of their wives. Sadly, this happens a lot. Christians should condemn this strongly and without hesitation.
Something else that is wrong is for women to be paid less than men for doing the same job. Nothing in Scripture supports this sort of inequality.
Similarly, when men are given poor legal rights as fathers, Christians need to speak out.
As far as it opposes real inequality between men and women, Christians should side firmly with the feminist movement.
However, feminism in its current form goes far beyond opposing inequality. It is a loud voice supporting various forms of immorality and is at the forefront of trying to get rid of differences between the sexes. In these respects, Christians should strongly oppose this movement.
See also:
Turning the World’s Values Upside Down: Christian Leadership Is All about Serving
The Arrogance and Hypocrisy of Western Society
The Will of the People: A Big Idol among Christians Today
Is It Wrong for Women to Be Church Leaders?