Not so long ago a big controversy arose in evangelical circles, when the Scottish church leader Alistair Begg said that it wasn’t wrong for Christians to attend the ‘gay wedding’ of a relative or friend.
Begg was not claiming
that God actually recognises such events as real weddings. Nor was he claiming
that homosexual practice is not sinful. Rather, he reasoned that Christians
need to love everyone, including unrepentant sinners, and that attending the
‘gay wedding’ of a relative or friend was a way of doing this.
A ‘gay wedding’
is a terrible thing
Before going any
further, we need to take a moment to think through what God makes of so-called
‘gay weddings’.
When Paul is
outlining the depth of human sinfulness in the early chapters of Romans,
homosexual practice is one of the few things he gives more than a passing
mention to (Rom 1:26-27). Similarly, 1 Corinthians tells us that those who
engage in homosexual practice will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor
6:9-10), which means that they will end up in hell, not heaven, unless they
repent and are saved. And in the book of Revelation we read of the sexually
immoral, who should be understood to include practising homosexuals, being thrown
into the lake of fire (Rev 21:8).
In God’s sight, then,
homosexual practice is certainly an awful thing. But a so-called ‘gay wedding’
is an even higher level of evil. Not only do those who support such events
condone immoral and unnatural behaviour, but they also dare to start trying to
alter God’s pattern of marriage. In effect, they are attempting to tear up
God’s blueprints for the marriage relationship and to make better ones to
replace them. This is an extremely arrogant thing to do.
Actions often
imply things
With the depravity of
so-called ‘gay weddings’ in mind, we are now ready to ask if it is OK for
Christians to attend them.
To begin with, we should
be clear that it is absolutely right for us to seek to love relatives or
friends who have a ‘gay wedding’. It is all too common to find Christians
acting coldly and unlovingly towards people who are unrepentant of various
sins, but this is wrong.
Nevertheless, real
love manifests itself in different ways depending on the circumstances. And
when people are doing something, like having a ‘gay wedding’, that is displeasing
to God and also working strongly towards their own harm, if we do or say things
that will help to reinforce the bad decision they have made, that is actually
an unloving thing to do.
We need to understand
that a ‘gay wedding’ has been organised as a celebration. But it is unthinkable
that a Christian could go to one and celebrate what is going on. God is being
insulted, and the right response for Christians is to mourn what is happening.
However, our actions
often imply things about what we believe, and if we go to a ‘gay wedding’,
everyone who sees us there will think that we are celebrating unless we make it
clear that we aren’t.
If we don’t make this
clear, then we will be playing a part in reinforcing the beliefs of those
present that something worth celebrating is taking place. And that means that
we would in effect be promoting evil.
Of course, if we were
to go and make a visible protest against what is happening, there would obviously
be no promotion of evil. However, I think at least usually that would be a very
bad idea. Those involved would very probably just be annoyed rather than
influenced for good.
The issue of
honesty
There is also the
issue of honesty to consider. At a ‘gay wedding’ there would surely be speeches
commending the couple and expressing support for their decision to have a
homosexual union. But how could we honestly clap after a speech of this sort?
And when someone raises a glass to toast the couple, again with implied support
for what they are doing, how could we raise our own glass with a clear
conscience?
Without making a
visible protest, which would very probably be a mistake as I have said, it
seems impossible to be honest and also go to a celebration if we are mourning.
And if two men or two women are planning to have a ‘gay wedding’, we should be
mourning deeply.
Joining a
neo-Nazi group
Let’s think for a
moment about an event that is similar to a ‘gay wedding’.
Suppose you have a
relative or friend who is formally joining a neo-Nazi group, a genuine neo-Nazi
group that goes as far as wanting the murder of Jews.
Suppose too that a
celebration has been organised by this group to mark the occasion. People are
going to be wearing suits and dresses, there is going to be champagne and
speeches, etc.
Would you really go
along to this event, when someone you love is being initiated into a group that
supports murder? Would you clap after the speeches that praise the murder of
Jews? Would you raise your glass to toast the new neo-Nazi member?
I think the vast
majority of Christians wouldn’t do this. More than that, I think they would be
horrified at the thought of doing so. They would rightly see that neo-Nazi
ideology is a terrible thing and that a celebration admitting a new member to
this evil group is something that they just couldn’t be part of.
But in terms of the
evil involved, is there really much of a difference between this and a ‘gay
wedding’? I suppose we could argue that because neo-Nazis support murder, it is
worse than a ‘gay wedding’. But even so, this difference is just a matter of
degree, and I think a ‘gay wedding’ would come a close second anyway. It is a
massive insult to God.
A poor
understanding of how evil a ‘gay wedding’ is
I suspect that the
real reason many Christians would choose to go to a ‘gay wedding’ is because
they simply don’t understand how evil it is. I think many modern Christians
have been unconsciously influenced by the values of mainstream Western culture
in this respect.
I would suggest too that
the reason why many Christians don’t recognise the evil involved is because
they have a human-centred, and not God-centred, worldview. A ‘gay wedding’
doesn’t seem to hurt anyone, so they think it can’t be that bad.
However, the whole
starting point for this kind of thinking is wrong. We shouldn’t start by asking
whether something hurts other people but whether it hurts God. God is at the
centre of the universe. Human beings are not.
Summing up
We should have no
hesitation in saying, then, that it is a mistake for Christians to attend a
so-called ‘gay wedding’. If we were to go without making it clear that we are
deeply opposed to what is going on, our actions could only serve to reinforce
the people involved in their bad choices. In any case, it seems very dishonest
to give an appearance of supporting a celebration when we oppose it. And it
just makes no sense for someone to go to a celebration of something they are in
fact mourning.
If we refuse to go to
a ‘gay wedding’, there is certainly a place for explaining to others why we
can’t be a part of the celebration. And there is also a place for us to affirm
our love for the men or women involved. Alistair Begg is quite right about the
need to love family members or friends who are doing this.
But if we are putting
God first and if we want to do what is right for the people involved, we should
steer clear of any celebration connected to this evil act.
See also:
What Attitude Should Christians Have to Homosexuality?
What Did Jesus Make of Homosexual Practice?
Answering the Accusations of the LGBT Movement
